Funny you should ask. I've been thinking about exploring this topic on my blog, Ruminations. I always consider the temperament and the IQ of the person with whom I'm speaking before I launch into these topics. I also consider how much I like the person and whether I care what he thinks.
What are the circumstances in your case?
Years ago I had a friend whose company I enjoyed enough to have pleasant conversations with her ... as long as they were limited to our children and what books we were reading. I had realized early on in the relationship that any other topic just wasn't worth the effort.
On the other hand, I have other friends whom I like very much and with whom I enjoy the occasional, intelligent debate.
Are you talking about being trapped at family gatherings where people drone on and on and on and on? Unless you like stirring up a hornets' nest, isn't there something that needs tending in the kitchen or on the barbecue? Or are you wedged into your seat at the dinner table? Try this: "I think I'll have some more of this delicious pot roast!"
If you actually think you have a chance at swaying anyone's opinion without creating animosity, then by all means, launch into it, unless, of course, the alcohol has already taken effect. Then I wouldn't bother.
Regardless of your circumstances, don't start anything that you can't back up with facts.
-- Deborah
Dear No name,
Ah, the great American past-time: arguing
about religion and politics. The answer is, “very delicately.” It seems that
with social media and changing attitudes, the intensity of divisive topics has
really ramped up, and, from what I have seen and heard, much of it is outright
hostile. A big factor that will determine whether you should wade into battle
is the social setting. If you are at an office or holiday party or other
social gathering, my advice is to not engage and keep to yourself. If you are
able, try to steer the conversation to less quarrelsome topics such as
vacations, movies, sports, etc., but not the weather. This will surely lead to
a fight over “climate change.” If you are out with girlfriends (or the guys)
you can jump in and give your opinion. If you are on social media, remember
that whatever you post is out in the ether forever. In all cases I encourage
you to keep your cool and remain composed at all times. At all cost, do not
raise your voice or foam at the mouth and never engage in name calling,
bullying, harassment, or assault. If you can manage this, you will always “win,” and people will respect you for having a polite and well-thought-out opinion.
-- Terry
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