Trapped on a Hamster Wheel

Dear Terry and Deborah,

Hi, I just graduated in May, 2013, from a top 20 university. I loved my experience in college and started teaching 6th grade English. However, I get really deep/desperate/depressing philosophical thoughts on a regular basis (at least 5 times a week), feel like I'm trapped on a hamster wheel, and feel like all my efforts are futile. How can I not feel like I'm trapped in a pointless life? How can I find meaning in my life that is lasting for me?

Thank you.

-- Melissa

Dear Melissa,

Thank you for writing. Your life is full of meaning and is in no way pointless. Butcher, baker, candlestick maker; we need them all. But, being a teacher? It is one of the most noble of callings. You mean a great deal to those young, impressionable minds. If you think back, I am sure there is at least one teacher who left a lifelong impression on you, possibly enough to lead you into teaching. To be a role model and inspiration to so many children can be quite rewarding but, in itself, may not be enough. Your feelings are normal; everyone needs to find meaning in the bigger picture. Many people find meaning through their faith or other spiritual following or volunteering to help others. I encourage you to become active in some pastime. You are still young, so try a variety of activities to find out which ones are suitable to your interest and ability. There are “meet up” groups on the internet for just about everything imaginable like hiking, cycling, running, dancing and many others. Each of us is important, and one does not need to find a cure for cancer or save humanity to find fulfillment and importance. Forging longtime friendships is the surest way to find meaning in your life.

-- Terry

Dear Melissa,

Your feelings are completely understandable and are shared by many. The good news to start off here is that you do have a job. It may not be how you envisioned what you’d be doing right now, but at least it takes some of the pressure off of you while you decide what is next.

Coincidentally, I've recently come across a post by Brent Lopianetzky who is experiencing the angst of the unknown post-college. It’s natural. You've had people telling you what to do and when to do it for your entire life, and now you are responsible for making those decisions. It’s scary.

Don’t feel that you need to define yourself by your job. One of the wonderful differences between our lives today and the lives of my  parent’s generation is that nowadays it’s considered perfectly acceptable and expected to change jobs and even careers.  If you consider your current job as more of a life-ring than a hamster wheel, you may feel more free to start exploring other options.

Start writing, even if it’s just for yourself. A blog, short stories, a journal … it doesn't really matter where you start, but it’s a great way for some people to get their thoughts together.

Perhaps you could explore different teaching opportunities that would allow you to explore the world. I know of two young people who are teaching abroad right now. One is in Israel and the other is in Hong Kong. They are both having fantastic times. And, for each of them, these opportunities were EXACTLY what they needed for their post-college growth.

I also encourage you to look for people to share activities outside of work. It’s important to get out and move your body. Get some exercise. Ride your bike or go for a hike. I always find that a great way to adjust my attitude when I’m feeling stuck on that wheel!

Please write back and tell us how you’re doing. We hope we've been able to help in some way and would like to hear from you.

-- Deborah